So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
