Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize