sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
