i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
