don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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