this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
