u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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