Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
