before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
