His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
