Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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