Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
