When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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