Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize