I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
