Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
