why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
