I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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