what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's never too late to be topless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
