Apparently you make a good broom.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
