Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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