Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
