id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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