im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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