For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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