Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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