I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
4 words: hood of his car
Welp...herpes.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
