I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
