does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
