i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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