am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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