She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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