ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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