like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
