i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
