The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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