absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
