yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
