Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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