My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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