Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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