Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sarcasm needs its own font
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
