Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
