Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
