brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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