So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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