just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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