i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
