We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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