omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
