I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
