Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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