I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What a dumb baby whore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize