are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
