i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
