I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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