Nicole vs. Life
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
