wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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