first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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