I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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