im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
