i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
