I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize