Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
