it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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