i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
