I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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